And That's a Wrap

Reflecting back on 2023 and looking ahead to 2024

I was going through my journal last night and found an entry from early January 2023. I was talking about reviving my blog, shifting the direction to life and motherhood and how scared I was. Well, it’s almost been a year and I’m still here!

The year was full of wins peppered with a few losses. Starting Sips of Solitude was a win but the lack of engagement and effort on my part meant I didn’t hit my follower goals. Our family took four camping trips and while wonderful and memory building, was also exhausting and draining. Not everything can be put into one category of either good or bad. Motherhood seems to mean a lot of ‘grey’ areas.

I did some therapy: always a win. I cried more this year than in the last five years combined. I reconnected with my body (hello body!) after five years of infertility and three less than ideal pregnancies/births. I did hapé, kambo and psilocybin and will likely do them all again next year with the addition of bufo. I discovered the power of breath work. I have chosen sobriety everyday for the last 110 days.

I’ve realized my anger runs deep and I’m still trying to figure out where it lives and what it wants. I am working towards more peacefull parenting while also acknowledging that four kids is so fucking hard my head spins some days.

I’ve deepened my relationship with my mom; I love that lady so so much it brings a tear to my eye to think about her.

I’ve played many games of Catan this year and have only won a couple handfuls of times. As a competitive bitch, this riles me immensely.

I’ve watched the meteors whiz by and questioned my purpose on this planet in this skin suit too many times to count.

I went to Toronto to see my childhood best friends and found them the same but not. It’s such a beautiful friendship to watch someone go through their life almost in their entirety: from childhood to teenagers to young adults to married wives to career women to mothers. I look forward to seeing where Life takes those sisters of mine and holding space for whatever may come.

I’ve deepened friendships, created new ones and stepped back from others. Sometimes intentionally but usually not. I’ve accepted that Life happens and I’m not on everybody’s radar to check in or catch up and that’s ok. I also don’t have enough hours in the days for phone calls and check ins either so I pray my friends know how much I love them. I’ve accepted that I don’t have to like everyone I meet and they don’t have to like me either (a huge win for a former people pleaser like myself!).

I’ve loathed social media to a point I took a three month hiatus. I’ve loathed making dinner and lunch on too many days. I’ve forgotten to put money under the pillow for Claire’s teeth three times now and I’m still struggling with the medical mystery that is my gut health and the reason I’m still not 100%. I gave up gluten, dairy, nuts and others for three months and nothing changed except my longing for fresh bread. Back to drawing board for what’s next. I’ve found energy medicine though and think that it, combined with science, holistic modalities and nutrition, will lead me to optimal health.

Clay and I celebrated ten years married and in the words of my mother, “no one thought you’d make it this long” so I guess we can cheers to making it “this long” and hope we continue flooring people with our commitment to loving each other longer. We made time for dates, intimacy, play and even had an overnight getaway to Dakota Dunes sans kids. We also did a ten year vow renewal because well, we’ve changed a lot, our lives have changed even more and really, you only get married twice once.

I’ve become passionate about homesteading and all things natural: making my own foods, continuing to make my own skin care, advocating for the old ways, speaking up about Big Pharma and it’s abusive power it holds over people and generally annoying people along the way with this ideology.

Our oven died and our space heater died but no one in my family died so there’s that. Everyone remains healthy in my house despite the baby’s chronic runny nose. Callum cut Chloe’s hair and now she looks like a young Friar Tuck. It was about time it happened in my house.

Overall, it was a good year. Tomorrow is a new year but not a new me. I’m still gonna set goals and work towards them but I’m not interested in the cliches and bumper stickers floating around right now “new year, new me” "or “this is your year!” or “2023 the seeds were planted, 2024 we bloom!” I’m good. It’s just another day in the cycle of life. If I am so blessed to wake up tomorrow morning, it’ll be Monday so I’ll likely make a meatloaf. And do yoga. And snuggle my kids. And yell at my kids. And kiss my husband. And meal prep for the week ahead. And nap if I’m lucky. It’s that simple.

May your 2024 be full of simple, beautiful, joyfull experiences and should the worst happen, may you find strength and wisdom in the hard that hovers.

thanks for following along and letting me land in your inbox, I look forward to another year of writing, connecting and laughing with you all.

Love, Kelsey